Happy Birthday

I may have posted this picture before, but I'm not sure. This is my dad and mom, my brother, and possibly my cousin Mariette? Not sure where I was. My guess is that it was for Mariette's baptism. Regardless of who the baby is, I always loved this picture. Daniel, your glasses are awesome. Mom I love your dress (really, I would wear it today), and my dad has a tie on. What?

Today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 65 years old. Retired, hopefully. Spending his time on his tractor and working on his property out where he grew up. I think alot about the "What ifs." What if he was still alive, and he were able to come up and visit us. What if he could take J, C, and C fishing. Or for a ride on the 4wheeler. What if he could hold them. Or tell them long-drawn out stories that I miss so much. What if he could be in our everyday life, instead of just in our prayers.

I am so blessed to have had him for a dad. Though we drove each other crazy, I had a lot of respect for him, and we had so much in common. I miss our relationship.

I think about him alot as I go through this journey of parenting. I lose my temper so easily, and I like things done a certain way (much like him). It drove me crazy when I was growing up - how he thought there was a right way to do everything. It's a struggle for me. To give up some control, and be more open minded. I'm working on it :)
I also remember how he not only talked about doing the right thing, but he DID the right thing. He helped someone out when they needed help. He didn't just pass by a problem. He also took such great care of everything we owned. Also, pretty annoying as a kid - having to cover up the trampoline with a tarp and bungees and then prop it up on coke crates so it wouldn't hold rainwater. Really annoying if I remember correctly. But, everything we had (including the trampoline) lasted for a long time. He had such respect for the things he and my mom had worked for. I think about him everytime I look outside of our kitchen window and see the kids toys and balls strewn across the yard.
I think about him everytime we see a bucket truck on the side of the road, or the power goes out, or when I see a new holland tractor.
For those of you who knew him, I hope you remember him today, and say a little prayer for him. January 7 is still his birthday. I pray that he is in heaven, and can see the face of God. I pray that I can see him again one day, too.
I'm thankful for all the time I had with him. It's been nearly 4 years since he passed away. I still miss him terribly, and my heart feels heavy knowing he's not down Miller Lane anymore. Some days it hits me all over again, like I just found out. But other days I can smile, and remember my favorite things about him. I can watch all three boys, and know that he would be so proud of them.
I love you, Dad. Happy Birthday.